No one prepared us to have and to hold a job and today we get real REAL about what it feels like. P.S thanks universe for everything you give us, we’re still grateful just ranting xx
Tango with Avani
Rather than starting off with what I do in my newly found 9-5 job, I'm going to elucidate what happens from 5-9 to paint a more cohesive picture of peak adulthood.
- Take the tube back home and fall asleep the whole way
- Stop by Sainsburys to buy groceries out of optimism
- Reach home and collapse horizontally for a few hours to either doom scroll or Netflix
- Ponder about making dinner
- The pondering continues
- Get up for a very unfulfilling snack, that in no way utilises said groceries, before calling it a night and vowing to do better tomorrow
Having freelanced for SO long, a field so uncertain and chaotic, I was often lost in thought about the romantic proposition of an actual routine at a full-time job. And while financial stability is a BIG bonus, it also makes you question how you are supposed to function as a human outside of your job in a way that's wholesome and normal. You're telling me I need to sit on a desk and type away on a laptop for 8 hours for 5 days a week to earn ££ AND make 3 proper meals, do chores around the house, exercise, socialise, have hobbies and/or me-time? This leaves no time for my weekly breakdowns (jk).
No but seriously, how is everyone functioning? Cramming all good things on the weekend seems unsustainable, and I don't even have that much on my plate to be fair. I know of colleagues who manage their diaries around childcare pickups or taking care of their toddlers AND being amazing at work, which is a lot more impressive than people think. Even without those responsibilities, being a 20-something at her first full-time gig is such a massive learning curve about work-life balance and dealing with *actual* adulthood. I know I'll get used to it and figure my way around, but I guess what I want to say is that we need to be okay with taking our time to do that. I don't need to be a star employee, domestic goddess, socialite and personally accomplished all at the same time. In fact, I don't need to be either of these things.
Tango with Darshita
In the blink of an eye, I’ll complete one whole year employed full time in London. Now that’s a big deal for many reasons: I love this city and was yearning to experience the IRL work culture. You know, an office full of people, colleagues who become friends, lunch dates, pub days, office goss the whole works. But this milestone (?) is also special to me because I committed to ONE place for one year.
Few people know this, but in my first week at work I was sure I was quitting by the end of the month. I even drafted a resignation email. PSA it had absolutely nothing to do with the people or the work or the office — it was everything I could ask for. But that’s what felt overwhelming; suddenly the dream that I was chasing, was becoming the life I was leading and… I started feeling trapped.
If my dad was here, at this point he’d say something like, “your generation stresses too much and you make up your own problems,” and maybe that’s true in this case but a feeling is a feeling right? Up until then, every space I’d occupied was a phase: school, undergrad, work before masters, masters, freelancing. But with a permanent (ish) job, there was no end date or exit door. It was the same routine, the same overground train, the same CMS that doesn’t refresh and monthly salaries on repeat till the end of time.
As someone who loves chasing — hello, unstable freelance life where you’re hoping, praying, manifesting that rent money comes in on time — the stability, the adulting, the conformity felt like an end. But looking back, I’m supremely grateful that my brother forced me to stick it out for two months and that period became an exciting, gruelling year full of learnings and more milestones.
And not just at work, but also personal growth. I accepted that “I’m not a morning person” can’t always be an excuse. On some days, I have to get my shit together, meal prep, bathe, make it to the tube on time and be seated for the 10am meeting. (If you’re rolling your eyes, arriving somewhere that early IS cruel to me.) I also learnt that work can’t and doesn’t have to be my only escape and haven.
The chase right now is actually balance. Can I have a fulfilling social life, work out, read, reply to all my messages, create and consume content, record podcasts, write this newsletter, cook, clean, eat and survive without losing my mind? That’s the game I’m currently trying to win and I have to be real, once I finally crack that, I know it’s time to move on to a new job, a new (old) city, a new home, a new life <3
OOPS we did it again! (Random recommendations to tango with, curated 4U)
Is it even a newsletter if I don't suggest some Korean form of entertainment? No. Watch Queen of Tears of Netflix where unlike other dramas, the couple is madly NOT in love at the beginning and on the verge of divorce.
I’ve seen far too many Real Housewives episodes (if you’re starting, go SLC) and now I’ve arrived at Vanderpump Rules. Watch with me?
I discovered Ateez thanks to Coachella and I am thoroughly obsessed with Jong Ho's vocals and the boy group's infectious energy on stage. Listen to all their songs immediately.
I love witnessing Chappell Roan *become* a pop star, what an exciting time! I love her music but I’m more here for the discourse - start with Good Luck, Babe of course. While you’re on Spotify, maybe also listen to my pop culture pod ha <3
London peeps, there's reportedly a cool new exhibition on textiles at the Barbican Centre! Pls go and tell me how it was?
Run don’t walk to watch The Picture of Dorian Gray and if you’re not in London, rewatch Succession to appreciate the genius that is Sarah Snook tyvm.