Think back to that time you were in a club and refused a drink. Remember how everyone went…why aren’t you drinking? Are you okay? This week we’re breaking down our relationship with cocktails and the pressure to drink to be social. TLDR: it’s a lot.
Tango with Avani
You can't really differentiate between a Monday or a Saturday evening here because either way your local pub is bursting with corporate and finance bros downing pint after pint. The drinking culture here is so integral to socialisation, dating and weekend-ing, and I think I just went along with it without asking why. Having left my early 20's (*sheds a tear*), I've become more wary of linking alcohol to 'fun times' (lol Kingfisher rip) but it's hard to do so because every other birthday or get-together in the friend circle starts with 'pre's at XYZ at 8.'
Don't get me wrong, I love my Margaritas from time to time but it's the social pressure to partake in drinking alcohol as a group that makes me queasy. I know someone reading this is going, 'Well, why don't you just say no?' And I do sometimes, as have many people around me, only to be greeted with a barrage of questions - why, what, when etc etc. It's almost as if other than religion, no other 'excuse' can possibly warrant abandoning a drink. And this isn't just on nights at the club, but also at Sunday brunches, events at university or simply a first date with a complete stranger. Alcohol tags along as a no-questions asked +1.
When can we make it socially acceptable to drink an Oreo milkshake or lassi while your friends are cracking open their beers? Asking for a friend.
Tango with Darshita
My last drink was less than 24 hours ago: a valentine’s raspberry and lychee martini. It was the right amount of sweet and potent; soft on the tongue, leaving me slightly lightheaded, just how I like it. But it took me a while to get back to enjoying cocktails. In the last year, I drank alcohol less than 15 times, maybe even 10. And trust me, doing that while living in London is an ~achievement~
Beer and wine is everywhere, at my friend’s birthday, promotion, grad party, break-up brunch you name it. It’s also at my work, every time I attend an event, PRs bring out a glass of sparkling prosecco to *bond* aka sell their brand. And then there are post office parties, that drunk karaoke night with your colleagues, yikes. It’s A LOT for anyone but especially for me and my hangxiety.
The year I moved to London, I noticed a messy pattern. The quickest way to make friends when you meet new people: get drunk with them. And the next morning, wake up with random bruises and wonder if I slipped down the stairs yet again, with a box of half eaten fries on my bedside table and an overwhelming dread when I look at my phone. Did I spam that ex again? Did I shitpost more than I wanted to? Did I lock the door?
I wanted to snap out of the cycle but it was harder than I thought, what do I do at that obnoxious techno gig (sorry!) if I’m not guzzling gin? And if I don’t go, how do I hang with these newfound friends who see me as this party girl? But month on month, I tried, and saw heaps of people fall out of my life.
That best friend who momentarily made London home, that girl gang that sat on Tower Bridge at 4am with bottles of rosé, revealing deep delicious secrets, that neighbour who thought I was so funny when I was drunk. I see their stories today - with adoration, really - and wonder if I’d be happier if I went on. Imagine how busy my weekend would be, how full my gallery would look.
But almost instantly I’m relieved that I snapped out of it - I needed to. I’m happier here, healthier too. And for anyone else who’s struggling to find the balance: you’ll find your people at that book club or crochet circle. Give it a shot. Or just text me <3
OOPS we did it again! (Random recommendations to tango with, curated 4U)
Listen: Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party for main character Gen Z Lana Del Rey feels
Eat: khow suey wherever you are. Burma Burma if you’re in India, Lahpet if you’re in London x
Follow: Lydia Wood, she’s on a mission to sketch outside every pub in London and it’s visual asmr on steroids
If you kill a killer are you a murderer or a saviour? I binged watched A Killer Paradox on Netflix in 2 days and it kept me on my toes till the very end.
Handmade gifts are the cutest and I love this unfolding card tutorial. You don't need to draw it out, we can't all be gifted artists lol. Use printed photos instead.
I give intercontinental recos too, so people in Delhi - listen up. Get your bestie a cute bento cake from A Dreamy Frost, they are affordable and v yummy (verified by the birthday girl herself).